We compare ourselves to others on a conscious level as well as an unconscious level. I'm sure you know what I mean. It's that incessant chatter in your mind that, if you can't reign it in, can drive you "bat sh#it crazy."
Comparisons sound different for each of us depending on what issue we feel we are "not enough."
Comparisons sound something like this…
I wonder how much he makes.
Why can't my daughter dress like her daughter?
Why can't my body look more like hers?
How come all my friends are having kids and I'm still single?
Why didn't I become a ___ like my cousin?
If I try harder I can be more like___.
I wonder what kind of house he lives in?
How come her engagement ring is bigger than mine?
Why is she loosing weight and I'm not?
According to Brené Brown, Ph.D, comparison is the one way street leading directly to shame. Shame is the feeling that I am not (thin, rich, smart, or successful) enough. Shame leaves us feeling that we are not worthy of love and belonging. Brown states that “True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world. Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
How do we stop comparing ourselves to others? This involves using my two favorite skills of AWARENESS and EFFORT. Next time you find yourself comparing, take a moment to recognize you are comparing. Then make an effort to say 3 kinds things to yourself. This small task, over time, can lead to self-acceptance and self-love. And those are priceless!